I'm grading research papers in Chelsea Market because my friend works here. Ate a breakfast sandwich from a place with the slogan: UNBAGELIEVABLE. I'm trying to figure out to make a pop music Pandora station so I can concentrate. A story of mine is featured here today: Fiction Daily.

Annalemma is a good magazine. You should buy it. I'm going to, once I have an address that works for longer than a few weeks. I hope I finish these essays on time. I hope Iowa doesn't get upset with me. Here is my story at Annalemma. I like the illustration with it so much. Here is a link to the illustrator, Shen Plum.

HOW TO ATTEND A FASHION PARTY

There is no list! That line of thinking is totally incorrect. What you need instead is a costume of designer-wear. Unless you're famous, don't bother coming if you're fat. See my previous post on McDonald's if this is the case.

In costume, sweep into a super secret area of somewhere so elite it's known existence is practically secret. Look at everyone. Then look at everyone again. Act as though you're really drinking in what they're wearing. Instead, replay some episodes of internet TV inside your brain. This is a key viewing time, no other time will be this uninterrupted.

Keep on looking. Keep on drinking. Remember that if you've been drinking, alcohol is your appetizer, half your main course, and dessert all poured into a single glass. There is no such thing as food at alcohol parties. If you're into free food, exit fashion and enter some other industry.

Go look! Even if you don't care, everything is short. And the website is so, so nice looking.

Ways to Blog:

Diary style
Teenage girl style (internet slang)
Lists
Pictures of friends (not comprehensive enough to see whole outfits)
Fake news stories
Real news stories
Shots of food
With a black background and long paragraphs

IMPORTANT DINING UPDATE

There's a great hidden gem restaurant in San Francisco's Mission district (where I live)!

It's called McDonald's and it's right across from the BART station.

My favorite thing about this McD's is the space in it. Desire a booth? Seat yourself! Stretch your legs out! Stop worrying about brushing your butt against someone's appetizer! Spread out, settle in, and dip your nuggets in some sauce, uninterrupted.

I recommend enjoying this gem as a happy loner or in the company of one like-minded individual.

P.S.

I hate blogging! I'm no good at it, and I think it's really hard. How do you do this without feeling like a jerk?